Thursday, April 26, 2007

What Lyrics... # 3

Make you think of your significant other?


"I'm writing you to catch you up on places I've been
and you have this letter probably got excited,
but there's nothing else inside it...

Didn't have a camera by my side this time
Hopin' I would see the world through both my eyes
Maybe I would tell you all about it
when I'm in the mood to lose my way
but let me say

You should have seen that sunrise,
with your own eyes
It brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time
no more 3 x 5 's"

3 x 5 - John Mayer



"My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to re-ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive"

Starlight - Muse



"You're my foe and my brother and lover and friend."

Romantic Comedy - Stars



"And I know that the touch of you is hard to remember
but like that touch, I know no other
and for sure, we've danced in the risk of eachother
would you like to dance around the world with me?"

I'll Back You Up - Dave Matthews Band



"Maybe I just wanna fly,
wanna live I don't wanna die,
Maybe I just wanna breathe,
maybe I just don't believe
Maybe you're the same as me,
we see things they'll never see
you and I are gonna live forever..."

Life Forever - Oasis



"and you know, for you I'd bleed myself dry"

Yellow - Coldplay

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

On Going Home and all the Big Things that come along with it

It all ended far too soon.

I always knew that my 8 day vacation would fly by and I tried not to think about it too much. When my plane touched down on good ol' Bahraini land, my face stretched out into my side-ways-banana-grin and I vowed to make the most of my vacation time at home. Considering the short period of time I had, I think I did an alright job: perhaps I didn't get to see enough friends or spend enough time just hanging out with my parents, but you can only do so much in a week. To be fair, I think I did a decent job of doing a number of pretty cool stuff.

Much family stuff was in order: seeing my parents, my siblings, my little niece, it was all too good to have them back. I twirled around in my house and all its open space, leaving behind memories of cramped London flats and enjoyed being at home. So many changes to the house (our 1992 computer was finally replaced and Dad managed to move that horrid Spirit style, running horses, painting from the entrance hallway) but not too many to the neighbourhood (our neighbour's stupid well is still standing on the main street, inviting me to trash it if it's still standing the next time I'm back), which gave me a warm sense of comfort. The family are doing great, everyone looking fabulous, inches lost off waists and inches grown by the little one... My niece is fantastic and far more smart than I could imagine, I can safely say I've never heard a 4 year old criticize baby names by calling them "weak" before - I will definitely miss her and her strong adjectives the most.





Watching the F1 was a definite highlight; my first time on the Bahraini track gave me a huge adrenalin rush I didn't think imaginable. [insert teary eyes and national pride]. I don't think anyone was more proud of what this tiny little island has done than I am: The event itself was very impressive and I couldn't stop gushing at everything around me. I suppose I wasn't around to catch too much of it (only being back for the final race day) but I loved the atmosphere and the buzz on the island for that short period I caught: Bahrain, you did good, and from what I saw and heard, you threw one hell of a party.



Other Big News revolves around Big Life Decisions - for those of you who know me quite well, you'll know that I came back to Bahrain and got engaged to the most wonderful man on this planet. It was all very hectic - planning the big night, getting everyone together, fixing me up and meeting everyone - but it all went very well. Reunion of long lost friends and agreeable conversations made a relaxing evening for all, I'm very happy with the way everything turned out. I really appreciate everyone's congratulatory wishes to us both: you never think of it but it really makes a difference when you know that the people around you are genuinely happy for you in times like these. Of course, I couldn't be happier and I owe it all to the wonderful support I've received - thank you all for being a part of this special time for us, I hope I can reciprocate the love and comfort everyone has given me. And to the big oaf, I love post-us.



Lot's of other updates: Seeing old friends, making future life decisions, loving home and thinking hard about being away and how much longer I want to do this... I suppose it's all starting to come down to ground now, I've done quite a number of things I wanted to do so I guess it's time to re-write that list of "Things I want to Do When I Grow up" - maybe even think of scratching out the When I Grow up bit - and keep in mind that things are going to have to change a little... I'm a little nervous about what's going to happen next, but a nervousness that's mixed with excitement and a bit of determination to make things great.

Going home has put so much in perspective for me and made me realize how nice it is to be with your family around you all the time, even if they're a little mad. Touching down in London with the grey weather and detaching myself from everything around me again made me cry a little because I hadn't yet gotten used to being home, I hadn't had enough. It only took one long tube journey to make me numb again and take away all emotions because that's the way things are over here. I needed the break and I got it, with plenty of bonuses than I had asked for, and I am grateful for that. In true Soos fashion, I have to start my Bigger and Better plans, so watch this space for more...

Friday, April 13, 2007

Sweet Home, GuBuwa

I can now safely say, I am completely burnt out from work. It's gotten to a point that isn't even funny anymore, it's hil-a-rious. Early starts, late nights, lot's of frustrations, lot's of hair pulling & nail biting. But that's okay, because I'm going on vacation for a week - a week!

And I'm going home.

No one here understands how great this feels - it's 3:30 in the afternoon and after my manager's meeting, I am just itching to get out of here. I can't sit still, I keep on popping out of my corner office (*cough* sounds much more glamourous than it really is) into the open plan of scattered colleagues to do a little dance and taunt those less fortunate than me, all those people who are going to be stuck here while I'm on holiday!

All it took was one little meeting: when I turned from being super stressed to just not giving a damn. A huge smile crept on my face as my manager said "Well, I guess that's it then, finish whatever it is you have to do and have a great holiday" Mouth... starts...to... stretch... At this very moment, a little part from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory comes in mind when Grandpa Joe jumps out of his bed for the first time in some decades and does a dance in his pyjamas when Charlie finds the Golden Ticket in his bar of chocolate, singing Hallelujah!! So if you can't figure it out already, I am that excited.

I cannot wait. I cannot wait to see Baba. I cannot wait to see Mama. I cannot wait to see Big Brother 1, Big Sister, Big Brother 2, Sister-in-Law, number one niece... I cannot wait for the big things this break will break and the littler things. I cannot wait to see my friends and to see my toy mouse and my patchy garden and my home.

No one here knows how I feel, but I think everyone knows how much I need this vacation... and how much I need to get outta here and go home. I've had enough, everyone here knows it and I'm going to skip out of here, with my suitcase, and sing "La La la la" and leave everything behind. Laa laa laa laaa!

Home home home home, home. Not this ugly city, I'm going HOME.

*grin*

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Happy Birthday Yaya


Love you big sister - you're the one in yellow (your favourite colour).

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

What Lyrics... # 2

Best describe your feelings about your current life situation?


"This town it breathes on its own
With or without me
The skyline wakes up whether or not I get out of bed
El trains, they rumble along
And headlines will happen with no help from me
And when I can’t keep it all up
I’ll sing, “La, la, la, la”

Chicago Slow Down - Canasata


"We are here to make you feel
It terrifies you, but its real"

Soft Revolution - Stars

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Taggedy by June

Tagged by June, who knows better than to tag me, but I guess I say back to her "wot'eva" ... =)

If you don't know the rules, you can find them here, or here, or here, or here.

So, here are my 10 random facts that will probably forget 10 minutes from now:


  1. If I could get plastic surgery on any part of my body, I would remodel my feet.
  2. I am very snobby with the books I read and the music I listen to - I always adopt the "been there, done that" attitude which is also common in my brothers and my COUSIN HASAN.
  3. I used to bite my toenails as a kid.
  4. I have a morbid fear of fish heads and lizards.
  5. I can't eat much chocolate 'cause it gives me a tummy ache. So from being a chocoholic kid I actually eat very, very little now. A lot of girls find that strange. I am, however, a good-cheese-aholic and once I start, I can't stop.
  6. I rarely put sugar in my tea or coffee because I'm scared of being diabetic. I calorie count, fat count, sugar count, salt count, everything count, because of a subconcious fear of becoming diabetic - none of which makes sense, but it's instilled in me.
  7. I love to cook for people but hate to cook for myself - I find no joy in eating alone. I also can't cook for one, so if I do cook, I'm also eating leftovers the next day.
  8. There is nothing worse in the world than cold eggs. I only like my eggs one way, and if I do eat eggs other than runny sunny side up, I'm only being polite.
  9. I was never one for fancy mobile phones - I'm very happy with my dummy-proof-nokia and I don't really want a new cool phone, not unless it does something really cool, like shoot out laser beams.
  10. I think Chivalry is dead.

No need to tag anyone, but feel free to join in on the fun of making lists (never a boring task!).

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

What Lyrics... # 1

Lyrics Survey for your entertainment.
I'll post song lyrics to answer the question below - Easy.
Feel free to input your own thoughts in comments.


What lyrics…


Are good life advice?

(jeez)



"Alright already we'll all float on
Ok don't worry we'll all float on
Even if things get heavy we'll all float on
Alright, already, we'll all float on"

Float On - Modest Mouse


"This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath "

On the Radio - Regina Spektor


"Boys will be strong, and Boys solider on,
Boys but will be gone without the warmth
of a woman's good, good heart.

Father be good to your daughters,
daughters will love as you do
Girls becoming Lovers,
that turn into mothers,
so mothers be good to your daughters too."

Daughters - John Mayer

Monday, April 02, 2007

It's been six years since I graduated from high school and I forgot to plan our five year reunion

Sometimes, you forget where you've come from and feel like just another face in the crowd. It's easy, especially when you wake up and you go through the same routine: Shower, Change, pretend to intend to have breakfast but pretend to forget as you run to catch the bus, the train, the tube, get to work, slave away for 10 hours and then go home exhausted only to do it all over again. You forget that beyond the exhaustion and apathy there's actually a fun person somewhere in there that used to sit in your old self - in a sweet, innocent life before the grimaces and the struggles began: a time that was much, much easier.
***
For most, including myself, that time was high school. I forgot about high school and the fun of it all, the laughs and giggles, the traumas that really weren't so bad and the tragedies that came along with it - the lack of responsibility for any of your actions. I forgot about linking arms with my classmates and telling them we'd be friends forever, probably because it's been years since and we're not. It's only natural and it's been long accepted and forgotten: like I said, that was a different, sweeter time.
***
So I continue to walk my walk, talk my talk, do my thing here alone in this city seas away from home. I do miss my old friends but rarely have time to dwell over the memories while I'm busy doing other mundane things. I was lucky enough, over the last two weekends, to spend time with two of my dearest friends that reminded me of the fun and sweet person I used to be just by seeing how great they still are. These two have especially come a long, long way from high school and I can't say I could be more proud.
***
My first song of praise is for this girl over here who is not not only incredible human being, but also a soon to be mum. When she first told me she was expecting, I almost fell off my chair at work as I gaped at the email on my computer screen "Make sure you're sitting down.... [scroll all the way down] I'm pregnant!" I was speechless and my fingers did overtime typing out the WHYs and HOW COULD YOUs (that I really didn't want answered)... We agreed to meet on her next business trip over and when I finally spotted her, hand on belly, trotting down the Watford High Street, I felt myself bubbling up with emotion... A mum! Here she was, no longer flicking her funky 'do about in the car as she sang along to Miami but brushing her grown up fringe away from her glowing face as she told me about her pregnancy and the baby - it feels like last summer that we all celebrated her engagement and not 4 summers ago, seeing her was a definite reality check that time has passed...
***
I was awe of her all weekend... Not only was she absolutely beautiful and glowing, she was so ready for this... "I woke up one morning and I thought, what's missing? Ah, a baby" - her words gave me happy goosebumps, because although none of us could handle this, she could... She was great, shopping for little onesies and bibs while I stared at her bump the whole time. "Hey Baby" I'd shout out across whatever room we were in, "Hey Auntie Thooth" She'd mimick, and I'd start giggling about, talking to the baby about how when baby comes out, we're going out for ice cream all the time...
***
I watched her so comfortable in her new role and was so happy for a friend who's somewhere completely different than me... I couldn't compare or criticize because I knew how right this was for her and how it was the next logical step.... I hadn't seen her in six months and all of a sudden she was a mum - what a leap from being just-my-friend... It was great seeing her still the same and so much more of a super human that she was before: She'll be a great, intelligent, caring mother and I know she'll be so loving over the little one.. As will the rest of us - if it's a girl, I've already got dibs on Baby's first tiara, ballet shoes and every scoop of chocolate chip ice cream she gets...
***
The second wonderful person I spent this weekend with was one of my oldest and all time best friends... I met Chaz on the first day of the 3rd grade, when he came into our classroom (the reject class of 3 K or 3 M, I can't remember) and we were assigned to sit next to eachother as a pair. Yuck, he's new and he's a boy: I look at the teacher in despair but received no sympathy, I was forced to sit next to him for the whole year and I had to deal with it. A whole year lasted the next 10 years, where some where along the way we actually became friends and I realized that he didn't carry any infectious diseases as a boy (he was a clean freak) nor did he want to hurt me on the play ground (he was actually the nicest little boy you could imagine). He helped me with my struggles throughout school and after graduation, throughout college as we kept in touch through various email chains and long-distance phone calls... Strangely, he was always there for me, in his funny ways and I always knew I had a friend to lean on in times of self-doubt, because he always reminded me of who I truly was...
***
I will always be the one who recalls funny stories of when we were kids, starting from the sweet things he'd say in class and how the teachers always hugged him afterwards, to his perfect posture as an 8 year old. Classic story of sitting next to eachother in Arabic class and hearing him in a clear voice saying he wanted to be a Surgeon when he grew up. Back then, at 8, I definitely thought he was a weirdo, but I also knew that whatever a "Surgeon" did, he could do it. I can easily say he is one of the best people I know on this planet and he is a rare, rare breed... I knew it at 8 and although he was stuffy as a kid, he grew on me and it is reiterated every time I think of him...
***
When I saw him pointing at me across Leicester Square, my face broke into the biggest grin and I felt 17 again. We laughed and joked around like old times and it did not feel like a whole year has passed since we last met. We talked a lot about future plans, I warned him that I wanted to see him graduate with honours and no less, no brain surgeon's going to graduate from med school with just a pass... It was good fun and the throughout the weekend he'd randomly burst out with "Oh My God! [I can't believe it!] I'm sitting here with Sara and [other friends]! How amazing is this?" And we'd all laugh, because truly we knew that he was the one full of wonder and we were happy to have him with us...
***
Sometimes, a length of time will pass without seeing or hearing from people you considered close to your heart, but it's only sad if you when you see them it truly has felt like years and you've both moved on from your friendship in that time... With these two, it was an incredible weekend.. We laughed, we joked around and we reminded eachother of the times when we were together in the past... And what they did was they reminded me of that person I still am, after all these years... I still have a lot going for me, I'm still young, I still want to conquer the world and I still will... It's amazing the impact one person, let alone two, can have on your morale when you're feeling a bit of a slump. It's amazing how friends can remind you of how lucky you are to have such cool people in your lives...
***
Thanks guys, your weekend trips meant a lot more to me than you can imagine... I'll keep pushing forward as long as you guys keep throwing me high fives along the way...

 
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