It has been a hot summer here and I did not anticipate it to be otherwise. Hot, sticky and humid. It has been a nice summer.
I could have only guessed my stay here would fly by with days in the office and nights fluttering between one social event to the next. Weekends were spent with my family and his family and their family and then at various dinner parties eating Thai tidbits until 2 months flew by. I carelessly counted the days until reality told me my time here is coming to an end and soon I'll be back on the outside looking into a world I forgot I was a part of.
I could have only guessed my stay here would fly by with days in the office and nights fluttering between one social event to the next. Weekends were spent with my family and his family and their family and then at various dinner parties eating Thai tidbits until 2 months flew by. I carelessly counted the days until reality told me my time here is coming to an end and soon I'll be back on the outside looking into a world I forgot I was a part of.
It's been a good summer because I love Bahrain. I love hanging out with my family and my childhood friends. I love cocktail Kuwaiti from Burair and drive-thru everything. I love the simple life here that can get you as far as you need. It's great, isn't it? My friends abroad leave me jealous facebook messages on how sunny life must be here and how wonderful it all is.
What I don't tell them is that after a whole summer here I've now got an itch that no matter how much I scratch will not go away. Who was I kidding, a whole summer here and I was expected to stay sane? With no special exhibitions in museums, no parks, no outdoors activities, no long walks, no intellectual stimulation, no anything new and no character to anything around me, was I supposed to be just fine and not feel useless?
I may have been working since day 2 of being back but I've just felt generally lazy this summer. I can't pinpoint what it was and I feel pangs of guilt everytime I try to break it down, but it just might be that I tried too hard to transition into life here and it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I miss being outdoors and exploring, I miss going for a run and then having a day jam packed with things to do. I miss being busy with "that sort of life" that a lot of people here just don't understand - "Miskeena" they say, shaking their heads "you're always running around, you don't have time to take care of yourself and relax"... all I can think is that maybe I like that kind of life...
I hated it when people said they "hate Bahrain" but I sympathise when people said it's "boring". It is boring and if you don't find ways to keep yourself busy it could drive you crazy. Life in Bahrain is far slower than many places in the world and if you don't accept it, you will go mad. I see people in Bahrain who are comfortable. They have their jobs, their social lives, their routines and it suits them just fine. I don't see myself there just yet. Where's the music, the art, the life? Or am I just being too ambitious?
And this is why I love London. I love every bit of it - even the mad bursts of sunshine in between rainy days, park lunches and all the media types of Soho. I love the side streets and the cafes, I love the Indian men in corner shops who drive Mercedes because they over charge you for a bottle of water and a Kitkat. I love the monuments, the benches, the Thames, I love everything about London. I love the Electric Ballroom and Harlem, kebab at Behesht and Kulfi from Brick Lane in Ramadhan. I'm itching to go back to the way things were when I was there... back to walking up long escalators and crossing streets like a real pedestrian. I miss our cafe nero and the beep of my oyster card, I miss shuffling through lines of slow people, I really miss it all... It's just my city and right now I feel like I need to go back.
Sometimes other Bahrainis talk about London and how much they love it, and I try not to get too possessive. I mean, not everyone knows where the best dim sum is or what it feels like to be attacked by a hobo. A lot of people don't know London overground or what buildings are teaching hospitals and elementary schools. Probably none of these people have ever worn mismatched clothes and gotten complimented on their outfit. Still, it's such a great city that it can be anyone's city - there's just so much to see and feel and taste and experience with all your senses and enough to go around for 11 million people at a time... Oh, I sigh as I write about London with a dreamy look on my face, I do love my city...
I love Bahrain but I miss my life in London. I miss being energetic, being arty for a day, being professional the next, being serious all morning and fun fun fun the rest of the time. I just haven't figured out how to bring that here.
Maybe what I need is to get away and reflect about all of this.
Maybe I'll do just that... 6 months in London again? Back to suiting, booting and commuting?
Perhaps that's exactly what I need...
16 comments:
That was one beautiful piece Sara!
I'm speechless, but from someone who's been here for almost a year now, I think the way I got around it was by breaking the routine. It's hard, but when you dig real deep sometimes you find some stuff beneath the thick layer of coffee shops.
Problem is, in some other place that would be the normal flow of life. In Bahrain, though, you have to swim against the tide, and try real hard to live the same lifestyle you are used to, especially if you didn't like to stroll along a shopping mall.
that was beautiful... Whenever someone talks about London I always consider it mine; I lived there when I was around 2 for a few years, then again when I was 10 till around 15... and even though I haven't been there since 98 (life got in the way), whenever someone mentions it, I feel like you do; the possesiveness, it's my city, its mine..
Beautiful; I love it, I love the energy, the liveliness, the life.. I miss the salty fish and chips next corner of a pub on a cold wet afternoon, I miss getting on the underground train as "Mind The Gap" is announced (do they still do that?), I miss Oxford Street, I miss Picaddily circus, I miss shopping at Marks & Spencers (the supermarket part), oh how I miss London, take me with you!
Cradle - thanks honey, I wrote this over a couple of days with a paragraph here and there whenever I had the time... I was generally trying not to complain about the way things are because I'm blessed in so many ways... I just got a bit of a panic that I haven't done and seen enough out of here so I'm glad to be going back... A lot of friends have given me the same advice you have, it's tough but everyone's got to do it I suppose...
Ammar - All of that stuff is still there and so's the rest of it... I just can't wait to go back... and I can safely assume you were a KFA kid then...
hahaa, KFA!
I was in a regular british school for a year then went to KFA for about 4 years. Damn, I miss London. I'm definately going soon.
I really missed being able to enjoy the outdoors when I was in the Gulf. I just couldn't live without being able to walk comfortably for hours, and doing it surrounded by green things.
Oops, that was me ^
~ Christine
Did you say something to the effect of "friends leave me messages about how nice and sunny it is here"? I for one say, "may I be eaten by a giant panda before my 'keen' sweats in Bahrain's humid hot air ever again!"
Why? Why do this to yourself? Why strip yourself of all the freedom for the sake of make-believe-comfort?
Bahrain is boring, but it is mesmerising. Everyone gets deceived and falls for its evil ways. Food, comfort, ease-of-living. They get you all disillusioned and once you get stuck there, you don't really want to get out, but you feel like you're missing something. Bahrain deceives you like Schehrezade entertained Shahrayar, but in our case, our Scherezade is one fat, ugly, polluted, brain-dead thing that some refer to as an island.
kebab at behesht...i wonder what took you all the way down harrow road...
The best dim-sum; hakkasan, dimT london bridge, ping-pong on charlotte street (which is halal too).
"no intellectual stimulation, no anything new and no character to anything around me" That's a bit harsh. The question is, what are you going to do to change your surroundings and to enrich your environment?
I took her all the way down harrow road, and it was well worth it (it being 4 giant kebabs)!
Going to miss having you here. Enjoy your time in London, go back and do all the things I wish we could be doing together (and we will, when I come to visit!).
I'll be right here counting the days. Give Ireland a wave for me.
Christine , come to Bahrain and I'll show you what Dubai didn't have to offer and much, much more. Bahrain's got the culture you needed during your stay in the Gulf. I hope India's treating you well my dearest xxx
Evil , alf layla o layla, if only I could tell you stories as entertaining about Bahrain as you did to me when you were last here... Unfortunately, mine are limited to boring blue collar jokes so I'll leave it at that - you were always the cynical one and I was always the optimist and I'd hate for things to change... it would be a shame xxx
BB , the ping pong is actually on the corner of Goodge and Newman street. It used to be a dirty pub with a tunisian chain smoking chelsea fan and no seats to sit on to watch a game. The DimT off london bridge is pretty much opposite my office building - Charlotte Street used to have one as well but it's still not as good as the little place off Baker Street with the pictures of Tony Blair eating there. Now that is the best place to have dim sum in London. Oh, and the promise of eating 4 giant kebabs and good company took me to Harrow Road :) x
Mo , I'm waiting for your visit babe - I'll even save the Star Wars exhibition for you *gasp* :) xxx
I totally agree with you about the whole possessive feeling - I always feel like that. It's MY city, go get your own place to call home!!!
lunar, you rock. how's about a coffee saturday afternoon, hmm? :)
i want a doner kebab...
how about a side of turkish hepatitis C with that, eh?
thanks for the offer, but the doner alone should be sufficient
I've been living in London and working in Soho for the past 14 years now and still love it. Embankment, Tate Modern, Serpentine, Brick Lane... so much to see in London.
Still, being a true Bahraini I ache for the land. I have to come back home once a year at least to be with the family.
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