Sweat Free Review: Madonna's Tracksuit Line for H&M

She's done it again - Today, we're giving it up for Madonna, Queen of Pop. The world's best selling female artist has now gone out and done something completely random to market her ever growing empire of music slash dance slash children's books slash kabalah slash red string around wrists slash political fundraisers (apparently Madge was quoted saying "The future I wish for my children is at risk" in the 2004 US presidential elections - Wesley Clark 2008 it is then...) - Madonna is now marketing her every so lovely Madonna brand of tracksuits at the Swedish fashion label H&M.

Now, we all know she isn't the first to do it... Madonna is following the string of famous designers who have contributed a cheaper version of their own label as a line for our beloved Hennes... Karl Lagerfield and Stella McCartney have been favourites, and a rumoured Viktor & Rolf will be coming up sometime this November with their own line... True, Madonna isn't even a designer, but H&M's previous contributors have left lasting memories in our wardrobes and not in our wallets and have been one big hit after the other. The point was to get tip top designers to create a line of crazy sexy cool and so fashionaaayble line of affordable clothes for the high street shopper - who wouldn't want a karl lagerfield design for less than £100 in their closet? Big Big Success, in every way...






So here we go: Madonna for sweatpants? People weren't as much skeptical as they were curious... True, Madge is a Yogini after all (that's a female master of yoga, fyi) and she's got the body of an 18 year old gymnast, but what would these sweatpants look like? Would there be cones involved? Perhaps a cross that went on fire? Controversial? Sexy? Damn right indecent? Well, be prepared for none of the above as no one even bothered flocking to Oxford Circus to see the launch of our resident's new creation. Shoppers around the world waited for some excitement from Madonna and were left disappointed: Instead of the cool kistch sexy designs we expected, we were left with dry mouths at the bland and unimaginative trackies with the silly label "Madonna heart H&M". Trackies is what they are - Madge's concert ticket prices caused more of a stir around the country than her line of clothes, and the teenbop/yummy mummy consumer world is left disappointed.

Starting with the display, it was your average humdrum clothes rack at a highstreet store, nothing extravagant, nothing great. The trackpants are going for £14.99 while the sweaters are going for £19.99. Not expensive at all for nylon-mix trackpants at H&M that are made in Turkey. The design is simple, zip up sweater, scrunched at the middle and regular fit trousers that did not feel anymore special on your bum than your average H&M track-bottoms. Nothing special - the outfit comes in Clorox white, black and that dark shade of purple that seems to be in every shop window this season.






And that really is about it: There's nothing more to it. There was no stampede as witnessed before at H&M Designer launches or rush to grab the last size 10 trousers; there was more of a silent shift around the display to get to the 2 for 3 wifebeaters and headbands we all so desperately need. Madonna's design lacks creativity and imagination - There could have at least been a print or a little label that broke the boilerplate copy she's produced. Her creation in no way competes with other now-made-fabulous tracksuits that have taken over the fashion industry, such as Madonna's favourite pair of Juicy Couture's. She could have done so much but instead decided to promote a bland pair of trackies that doesn't say much, if anything at all, about her new disco diva style. H&M can do no wrong in our eyes and here all the fingers point at Queen of Pop Madge Ritchie - poor, poor work.



Madonna's tracksuits have been available since the end of August and the way we see it, will be around until the sales in an H&M near you. Viktor & Rolf for H&M is predicted to come out Mid-November.