Friday, December 22, 2006

Merry Christmas

To quote the Cure:

Dressed up to the eyes
It's a wonderful surprise
To see your shoes and your spirits rise
Throwing out your frown
And just smiling at the sound
And as sleek as a shriek
Spinning round and round
Always take a big bite
It's such a gorgeous sight
To see you eat in the middle of the night
You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff

It's Friday, I'm in love

It's Friday, I've got a long weekend. I'm in love with the idea of stripey socks and DVDs and cheese. The eating kind.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas

Soos xxx

(ARYRSE: I miss you guys. Now that is cheesy)

Thursday, December 21, 2006

coughing in a winter wonderland

Bah Humbuger, my darlings!

The Christmas spirit is upon us all here at Froggymen's as my immediate team all stretch out after our Christmas lunch. I clutch my side and relax; postponed a conference call because of an important "team meeting" that "ran over" which was due mainly to the fact we couldn't decide whether we wanted the bannoffee pie or creme brulee; after all it's Christmas, we're allowed to take it a little easy.
'Tis a season to be jolly and celebrate indeed: our office Christmas party was 2 weeks ago with the awesome theme of Boogie Nights - I know my cheesy sister is nodding her head in approval somewhere... Oh you would've loved it - it went the whole 51 yards with disco balls and bell bottoms everywhere. It was a fun night and an excuse for everyone to let their hair down or into a fake afro and just have a good time. And hey, everyone looks good in an afro after a couple of alcopops. It was a good night and got to boogie down with my colleagues who usually all just hide behind their computer screens in stress (hey, I'm one of them, too) - good times, definitely good times.

Since then it's been one christmas 'do after the other. Big lunches with work, dinner with the sweet flatmate and drinks with friends of friends and their friends. Soon though the big day will roll around the corner and I'll be celebrating my first ever Christmas in England. Yes, for this Christmas, I'm entertaining in my own home and will be cozying up on my couch with my dearest girlfriends. This will mean that I'm going to have to go on a mulla slaughtered turkey hunt this evening and start planning how I'm going to cook this bird. I sure hope I'll be able to find such fowl and I'm sure there's someone out there who'll do the job. Wouldn't the butcher find it comendable and a bit of a challenge, or will he shake his head at me for mixing too many rituals in one? Hmmm... I'm sure my local ASDA will find a way to cater to its good Muslim shoppers who like turkey. Why limit yourself to halal chicken or mutton (how I hate that word)? I suppose if all else fails I'll settle for a Jewish Christmas with some chinese takeout and a good movie... Now, if that isn't mixing I don't know what is...

Eid's coming up, Hannukah's near an end and Christmas has been and will be upon us for some time now... It's a nice time to celebrate, so happy holidays for everyone who likes to celebrate, and go scrooge yourselves for those who don't.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Ethiopians must laugh real hard when they pee all over our starbucks coffee beans

We got some new coffee today for the coffee machine on my floor - Starbucks Christmas Roast. Yum. Shame, I've only just perfected the microwave latte and really beginning to enjoy it. This is probably something I get from my mum, but I absolutely hate adding cold milk to hot drinks. See, in order to go around this, I would add my milk first into my tea cup and then add the tea/coffee. This still doesn't taste that great, I don't really know what it is, it's probaby something to do with the way the milk breaks down when added to hot water, I don't really know. Hence comes in dried/instant milk/creamer, which I love (CoffeeMate is my mate too!). People at work think this is strange - that I don't add cold fresh milk to my tea or coffee and insist on doing it a multitude of different ways but the one way everyone else does it. I think people at work also find this amusing. None of this bothered me until I recently ran out of CoffeeMate for my afternoon coffees and needed my caffine. Don't fret, I was only temporarily stuck until that one and only cartoon lightbulb above my head appeared with the approrpriate ring of our microwave oven. I figured it out: I started by microwaving the milk first and then adding the brewed coffee (Make sure everything is piping hot - I also cannot stand warm, let alone lukewarm, beverages. There is only one way, and that is hot-te) and ta da, I have a lat-te (almost, well, not entirely, but it's cool). Good stuff, I know. I was really proud of myself. I was drinking 3 or 4 extra cups an afternoon. Y up. But now it's over, we have the Christmas Blend. So I'll be drinking that, black. Straight up. No milk, no mates. Nada.
Oh well, from one sham to the other, I wonder what's next here at FroggyMen's.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Out of the trenches with Muse

Swivel my thumb around the dial, click the button.
Push through to the sliding doors and wait with head down.
Look up at the moving darkness through the glass, moving slower, slower: then comes the light.
Things will now come to a
I straighten myself and look forward.
Time stops, momentarily, there is a pause.
One, two, three, four... the doors open
and we surge forward.
The rush, the rush, no one stops to look,
no one dares to stop for anything.
We all swarm straight ahead -
I'm up at the front and I move just as fast as everyone around me.
Quickly down the stairs,
quickly turn that sharp right corner
and quickly down the narrow corridor.
Quickly before the mob gets to us and
quickly back up to open space.
No one thinks anymore of where to go
what steps to take next
we all move in
unison in the same direction.
twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen steps,
Turn, One, Two, Three, Four,
Five, Pause,
We know what we're doing and there's no time to waste.
If you blindfolded us all
forced that poison down our throats,
no one would stop for orientation
and no one would clutch onto another for help -
no one will stumble to find their way up
and out.
Like the back of our hands
the curve of a lover's back,
we know
every contour
and every line.
The electric stairs slowly disappear and once again it's
One, Two, Three, Four, Turn,
Pause, Five, Six, Turn, Pause,
Push through on-coming human traffic.
Almost there.
there's no other way
but out.
Electric Stairs, the long ones this time, and
up, up, up we go.
No time to stop, everyone moves up,
one impounding step after the other and we're almost there.
Your legs begin to ache at the last dozen steps or so
but you don't stop,
you never stop.
Four, Three, Two, One
and the steps begin to disappear.
The dull light of day comes to sight and you reach into your pocket
swiftly touch in and touch out
your blue sleeve to the yellow disc.
It beeps,
it opens
and without any interruptions
you're out of there.
"Together we're invincible"
Only to be back again tomorrow.

Friday, December 01, 2006


No wants wants to talk about it but it is a reality: Around 40 million people are living with HIV throughout the world - and that number increases every day. Ignorance and prejudice are fuelling the spread of a preventable disease and we need to spread awareness.

Wear your red ribbon and break the silence.

Support World AIDS Day

Thursday, November 30, 2006

I think happiness is a mat outside of a doorstep.

My hectic week is slowly coming to an end. I will now pick up the phone, answer personal emails, go out for coffees and lunches and me time. I will walk slower. I will stay out with friends until unreasonable hours and not with my keyboard. I will wear nice clothes (like jeans). I will not wear my glasses. I will be fun again! Super! I will not want to bash Charlotte in the face with my telephone!

I will not be mean and have no evil thoughts. Promise.

Friday is almost here... so close I can taste it.... in the form of some bubbly at a client cocktail party...

Monday, November 20, 2006

Soos on the first day of the week - pooped

I need a weekend to recover from my weekend... Monday mornings are always a drag and this does not make it better: a starbucks credit card? It depresses me to no end to think that we can't even have the time to fish for change in our purses because Starbucks have found a way to take away those few peaceful moments paying for your coffee - that and put you in debt by not realizing how much money you can spend at a Starbucks.... I can hear the corporate lemmings cheering from their cubicles, sadness...

I suppose I can only leave you with some fun from the Surrealist with their movie quotes... who ever thought Soos could do so much?

Happy Monday people, it's almost over...

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world soos didn't exist.
(The Usual Suspects, 1995)

Friday, November 17, 2006

A Vodka Martini, please

This weekend baby: CASINO ROYALE!!!

Bond pre-his licence to kill... oh... I am... slowly... dying....

Daniel Craig is well hot... He's the first actor under 40 to play James Bond since George Lazenby and if you can't tell, I am very excited... For those of you who think Bond can't be blonde, let's not judge him until we've seen the movie.. and I for one am looking forward to a change for the first ever Bond...

I've already heard tickets are fully booked this whole weekend, let's hope I get my hands on one SOON....

For all car lovers, head over to Harrods where you can see the 2007 Aston Martin DBS in their store window, along with Bond's suit, his cigar and his layday... woooo...!

Bond on love: "I have no armour left. You've stripped it from me. Whatever is left of me - whatever I am - I'm yours. " wooooooo...

Happy Friday!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Breakfast Run

Recently, I had to come into work fairly in the morning - an hour earlier than usual - for a conference call that could have been without my breathing over the telephone. Being able to sit in a dark empty office all alone is nice; checking the emails and organizing the works for the rest of the day, all in absolute peace... the only noise in the office this morning was the scribbles of my pen and the grumbling of my stummy.

The race to make a call early that morning justified my race for a Starbucks treat before everyone started filing in... Breakfast is very important to me... It's that morning warm drink, be it a milky chai or a nicely brewed coffee, that gets me going in the morning... then there's the cereal, the toast, croissants, eggs (only cooked one way), bacon, sausages, the yum yums... I'm a breakfast person, as a lot of my friends can tell at 8 a.m. while we sit in someone's kitchen and my stomach sings its happy song as I flip some pancakes... ah uni days, days made for waking up for a nice full english and nothing else...

I hadn't had breakfast and it looked like I wasn't going to have lunch, so I thought, "half assed cappacino? Never" and proceeded with my order... A coffee, a panini and a muffin... Mmm... My mouth watered as they raised the melted mozerella from the press and proceeded to wrap it in its special oragami package just as my lips tingled watching the temprature rise of my extra-hot-wet-skinny-toffeenut-latte (fairtrade, always fairtrade)...two of my all time favourites that only come with winter time and when I allow myself for a treat...

They're really not the best breakfast foods - mozerella panini with sundried tomatoes and pesto shrugs a knock off riviera lunch and the latte is skinny for a reason (not everyone can stomach full fat milk my friends... not everyone...) so it's not entirely breakfast, so sue me (and take me back to the 90's, please!) but it's good sustienance for the rest of the day... and I deserve it for having to listen to a Sharon and Amit argue at 8 a.m. in the morning...

One of my favourite articles about breakfast foods is by the Daily Mail which is awesome - puts down everyone's perception of the skinny bluberry muffin in Cash Cow Coffee that isn't really that skinny... we like it when they trick us, don't we? We allow it all the time and I'm not exception... Anyway, it's a fun article to read when you're thinking of what to grab for a quick breakfast... (here)

What keeps you going for the rest of the day?

(Dedicated to the gorgeous breakfast at a said-so trendy hotel which was an absolute treat - thank you St. Martin's Lane!)

Monday, November 13, 2006

For Zoosh

don't forget everything you've learned
don't forget
to love
look deeper between lines
but not in your own stories
look further than what's in front of you
but still within the walls of your new home
be strong
build a new life
on a strong foundation
of family
good friends
and a stronger you.
There's a lot out there waiting for you... so go grab it with both hands and take it all in... It's time for a brand new beginning and we're proud of you...

Friday, November 10, 2006

I am a tiger defying the laws of gravity...

You know how a lot of "bloggers" post "lyrics" on their "blogs". Yeah.

It's Friday and I've got a buzz in me, so there's only one way to start off the weekend: with some Freddy. This is my lyrical tribute is to one of the greatest out there who would have turned 60 last month if he were still alive. Sixty. Imagine what kind of world we'd live in if Freddy Mercury were still alive and turned sixty this year. Wow, the thought blows me away - Hasoon, I think you agree with me.

Here it is: some of the coolest lyrics ever. No one else can pull it off the way he did. Only a good metrosexual friend comes close, but still no where near.

RIP Farokh Bulsara. Let the weekend begin!


Tonight Im gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive and the world turning inside out yeah!
And floating around in ecstasy
So dont stop me now dont stop me
cause I'm having a good time
having a good time!

I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car passing by like lady godiva !
I'm gonna go go go
There's no stopping me

Im burning through the sky yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me mister fahrenheit
I'm travling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you

Dont stop me now
I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball dont stop me now
If you wanna have a good time just give me a call

Dont stop me now (cause I'm havin a good time)
Dont stop me now (yes I'm havin a good time)
I dont want to stop at all

I'm a rocket ship on my way to mars
On a collision course
I am a satellite I'm out of control
I am a sex machine ready to reload
Like an atom bomb about to
Oh oh oh oh oh explode

I'm burning through the sky yeah!
Two hundred degrees
Thats why they call me mister fahrenheit
I'm travling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic woman of you

Dont stop me dont stop me
Dont stop me hey hey hey!
Dont stop me dont stop me
ooh ooh ooh (I like it)
Dont stop me dont stop me
Have a good time good time
Dont stop me dont stop me ah

I'm burning through the sky yeah!
Two hundred degrees
Thats why they call me mister fahrenheit
I'm travling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you

Dont stop me now
I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball dont stop me now
If you wanna have a good time just give me a call
Dont stop me now (cause I'm havin a good time)
Dont stop me now (yes I'm havin a good time)
I dont want to stop at all

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Queries and thoughts

(of which I know all the answers to...)

1. When am I going to take a long, deserved break? When Optimus Prime fights the Misfits in Castle Greyskull...

2. How come I hate the word "blogger" so much...? 'Cause it's stupid.

3. How come there's so much bad writing out there by so called "bloggers"? 'Cause they're stupid... no, it's not that, it's because the quality of our live has gone down in every way... We're breathing shittier air, eating shittier food, toiling away at shittier tasks and reading shittier material... and accepting it overall... I don't think people 100 years ago would have accepted the crap we accept today...

4. Why do the managers get Paul's to nibble on in meetings when I have to have bloody Typhoo tea? Because most of them are gay and probably knob the bakers.

5. Is it coincidental that everytime I try to write in my "blog" someone walks in, or is it co-incidental? Both.

6. Why won't my credit card let me buy my holiday ticket? Because someone up there is laughing at me at trying to book a holiday.

7.Will my family remember me during the Jewelry Arabia exhibition? Always, they are truly awesome. Love you guys.

8. When will I catch a shooooting staaaar.... I'm no Toni Braxton

9. Will I ever get my fun fun bags of fun life back? Perhaps...

10. Why do we revert to asking questions when we're stuck rather than try and solve them? Because asking a question is easier than acting on one...

I heard my niece had a pyjama party at my house last weekend... am very jealous... then again, she did remember I had a red door & lived in "W1" and no one can take that away from me...

Reading an awesome, awesome book and loving it so much I didn't want to get off the train for two mornings in a row because I'd miss out on the pleasure of reading in an invisible box between dozens of people... it's such a good book I'm so tempted to pull it out, hide underneath my desk & read it with a bag of mini weetabix... so lesson of the day: if you hear an empty desk crunching away, feel sympathy for your work colleagues - they don't think you smell, they just want to read a good book...

Nicest thing someone said to me today: Soos, you are a muffin... they're so happy... oui ma petite pĂȘche, I am a muffin...

Monday, October 23, 2006

Eid Mubarak

As I sat on my balcony and watched the Diwali celebrations accross the river burst into the sky, I said a little prayer to all my brown friends out there who are celebrating some sort of religious holiday today...
Eid Mubarak & Happy Diwali

Remember, Eid is a time to be celebrated with friends & family, where we all appreciate the long, hard month we all endured & thank God for the return of that much needed mid-morning snack.... Don't forget to count your blessings...

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Sport's fan quote of the day (with picture)

"Maybe Spanish referee Manuel Enrique Mejuto Gonzalez can see something in Henry that the rest of us can’t?"

Thanks to Gunnerific for this awesome picture, and to last night's ref, bite me.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The Crackberry

Working with different jurisdictions means two things: 1) you learn how to sweet talk in different cultures in order to get something done for you and 2) work doesn't stop when you do. Working with people all over the world means when you go to work early one morning you will probably have a fright-of-a-sight of an email inbox with furious chains of "Where the hell are you? I need this right now!" sent at unreasonable times - times when you were trying to catch up on your crochet or One Tree Hill (admit it - even the toughest of you watch it)... Working with different parts of the globe means you have to find people when they're available and make sure you're catching someone during working hours in order to get your own work done. Of course, all of this can be resolved if you live in the office (insert sarcastic laughs from Clifford Chance trainees) or you've got a Blackberry.

I have to admit I did really wanted one... It just seemed so cool to be scrolling down your emails with your thumb on the train while everyone else looked sullenly on... Men were so much cooler, women so much more powerful, everone seemed to have this cutting edge that I didn't have because they were furiously thumbing away on escalators/movie theatres/bathroom stalls while I was just wondering what surprises my email inbox held for me...

Of course, I wanted one until I started working. You see, only a number of my bosses here that have a Blackberry actually use it - some choose to ignore it. Why, you may ask, Why would they want to bang their little office in a pocket against the wall? Reason would probably be because you're literally at your client's mercy with it. Anytime, any place, you're forced to answer back emails and calls from clients whom against you can't use the excuse that you were "unreachable" (To which they'll probably reply, Bull-Shit). And this I know, as I've received emails from my Boss at 00:08 a.m., answering back queries from NY and much to my pleasure, have pestered co-workers on the other end of the world to make sure my clients are happy in the wee hours of the morning, their time.

So here I am, stuck in a Catch 22 situation: I want to look cutting edge and fiddle around with my Blackberry Pearl but I also don't want to sell my soul to my company - where do you draw the line? After much contemplation, I can solemnly state that these things are little Monsters. Oh, and definitely a little intimidating, especially after reading this article here of how addictive these things are. Anyone who actually has one will agree - and those who don't are better not knowing what sleepless nights are like because of a little twinkling tone.

Slow start to the week which is fine as I'm not feeling too well - waiting to see what madness the rest of the week has in store for me...

Monday, October 16, 2006

MOVIE REVIEW: The Departed - a far departure from the original...

Applause, applause, I managed to get over to the theatre this weekend to watch Martin Scorsese's latest movie, "THE DEPARTED". The only reason I actually got to the cinema and wasted three hours (yes, three hours) of my time was the curiosity to watch Scorsese's Hollywood adaptation of the Chinese blockbuster "Infernal Affairs" - and to see whether he's mucked it up or not.

Infernal Affairs is a story of an undercover cop in the Triads and a Triad mole in the police force - it's the story of two young lads who started out together and went their separate paths working for different ends of the police force. Due to some seedy scams, they're forced to seek eachother out from the instructions of their superiors (also big time cops) without getting themselves discovered. It's basically an intense, skilful crime thriller in the streets of Hong Kong done by the famous Chinese director Andrew Lau (War of the Underworld, A Man Called Hero). The leads are played by Andy Lau and Tony Leung (you can feel the Chinese girls swooning already) and they do an excellent job of portraying the good cop who's not really a cop and the bad cop who turns good cop. The script is clearly written for a Chinese audience and is definitely not a made-for-Hollywood Oriental film - don’t expect this to be anything artsy and include some computer enhanced martial arts. This is a Chinese action film, not what you'd watch at your local world globe theatre before drinks with some wanna indie cover band members.

Rather than the streets of Hong Kong, The Departed is set in Boston with native Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio running up and down the Charles. I must note that this isn't entirely a story about the police force, but a story about the Boston Police Force and the Irish Mafia that exist within it. It was an interesting insight into what could be going on, and the star studded cast including Jack Nicholson, Martin Sheen, Marky Mark Wahlburg and a chubby Alec Baldwin, definitely had you entertained with their fake Bostonian accents. "Get in the caaah. Get in the feckin' caaah!"
Scorsese follows the original script quite well, with a few additions and extractions of his own. Scorsese's neglects to build up the relationship between Martin Sheen's character and DiCaprio's - definitely something he shouldn't have taken out as you don't really understand the dynamics of their relationship. Also, the original includes the extra character of May (Chinese pop star Elva Hsaio) who is only in the film for a brief scene, but definitely includes a sweet touch to the thriller as Tony Leung's old flame. There are a small number of new twists and turns but The Departed sticks to the original's production quite well, with the main scenes being almost exact the same as the original. Also spot a lot of scenes in china town = much appreciated by fans of the original.

Part of the excitement of the original Chinese film was the fact that it's filled with subtleties - nothing is spelled out for you and the story unravels as you watch the struggles of Tony Leung's character cope with being an undercover cop and you understand the relationship he has with Mr. Wong, with brief flashbacks of the young student's upsets at the Triad Academy. This was the main problem with The Departed - the original movie was about an hour and forty minutes while this version was stretched out for an extra hour. A whole extra HOUR. Mainly because Scorsese's must have though American audiences wouldn't be able to keep up with the plot and had to explain every detail while Chinese audiences were left sitting at the edge of their seat, taking in every detail in order to piece together the story. Entirely necessary? Perhaps Scorsese's thought he could put forward extra scenes with cussing and some flesh in order to keep his audience focused on the plot (perhaps).

Another disappointment: Scorsese's didn't bother milking out the emotional scenes (Mr. Wong/Martin Sheen - don't want to ruin it for you) to replace them with some tactlessly placed sex scenes with Jack Nicholson involved. Grr. I do love The Shining star - his facial expressions in random bursts of irish song are brilliant as the main villian in the film - but was it completely necessary? Picture Nicholson, naked but for a leopard print silk robe. Think hard now.

Overall, I'd say the movie was "good" for an adaptation of a chinese film to for a western audience. It definitely over simplified the plot and did put in some extras that weren't entirely necessary, but again, overall, it was good. "Very good" for those who haven't seen Infernal Affairs and won't compare it to the original. "Not so great" for those who look down on Scorsese's not having seen the original when deciding to film The Departed. "Disgusting" for those die hard Andy Lau fans who think Matt Damon is no equal.

Rating: 3.5/5
More about The Departed here, and Infernal Affairs here.

Friday, October 13, 2006

I can't waaaaiit... for the weeekend to begiiiiin...

Weekend Stuff:

- Steady's coming over - much missed after a 2 month departure (yes, it's been that long!), looking forward to having a chinese & a chat with my narcaleptic friend. Sometimes we think Teddy's Deady when he passes out, but lucky he's not this bad.

- OCTOBER 14 - DOOMSDAY - card-game night at my place, prepare yourself for some dog-eat-dog-rummy. I don't have a name for our game, could someone give suggestions, err... please-gesstions?

- Preparing for the London Film Festival coming up next week - looking forward to seeing some good British films, especially Venus, which is a collaborated work of one of my favourite writers, Hanif Kureshi, and with Peter O'Toole in the lead. That and Breaking and Entering with yummy Jude Law. Yummay in ma Tummay. If I do end up going to a movie, go over to Coffee & Dates to read my review and then applaud me for actually sitting through a whole movie in the cinema & not thinking it's an absolute waste of time.

- Tom the temp (who was also my advocacy opponent in law school) is leaving today, I will be very sad - no one to take countless coffee & tea breaks with who will complain about the quality of coffee & tea with me.

- Weekend means sleeping in - fun!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Andre the Giant Lives!

He does - in the form of a courrier man from DSI! Minus the Spandex, of course, but it was definitely him. I almost wanted to jump out of a building and fall into his arms, wearing a floaty dress (that's me in the dress). It didn't happen - he didn't even crush someone with his bare hands - because someone else gave him their package to deliver and I just stood their dumbfounded by my Fezzik. Nonetheless, I am in shock; happy, happy shock.

Speaking of happiness, if you can't seem to find it in the heart of your tiny weeny little heart, buy it here for the small price of $4.99. I don't even want to know what these people have bottled up but I'm curious: their site says they sell different types of happiness... Sooo... do they have, say, ecstasy perhaps? Perrrhaps?

Happy Wednesday's almost over - big E4 night, sadly, I don't have E4. Boo hoo. Lucky for me tonight it's not too much of a problem as it's England v Croatia tonight and I will be watching, along with my whole nation of yobs. Love you lads (innit).

So, as in the words of So Solid Crew: Sticky icky flicky.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Just so you know, while you were gone yesterday, I'm answered the phone like this: "Bob's Country Bunker, Bob speaking."

After a nice night out with family friends & lot's of chats, I wonder how I crawled out of bed to get to work today when everyone's made plans to go to the Dorechester for tea (and I'm on bloody Kingsway! Pitiful!)

Link of the day: Somehow I don't think my boss will appreciate any jokes this morning... Click here for some office humour

Happy tuesday, people... x

Monday, October 09, 2006

Get rid of 'em - co-workers can be vermon

Seeing as I work with a lot of relocation companies (and I've had mice), this conversation kept me entertained as I thought of how to get rid of a couple of people I work with (who look like rats, too)...

Funny conversation here

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Link This: London's Calling

Fancy learning a little bit more about London? Link yourself up to

where I myself am a contributor to whatever we see, hear and by golly, take part in here in the nation's capital...
It's still being played around with so check it up on a daily basis and leave your comments!
Other contributors are awesome and opinionated - you'll love 'em!
That's it for now - crazy days - when aren't they?
Peace x
(PS. So Wenger admitted selling Viera & Edu in the same year was a mistake... true to a certain point, their position was missing and that did put a lot of pressure on Fabregas... but what's done is done, and we're back up there.... quoting The Boss "I’m convinced that we can fight for, and win, the Premiership title. I’m a competitor so my aim this season is to win both the Champions League and the Premiership." Amen.)

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

London you make us chortle

Taken from Timeout's The Laughter Issue (No. 1866 that sits in my bathroom for the reading pleasure any guests), here's a couple of things that make us chuckle at "the world's most uptight, stressed, maddening and yes, sometimes side-splitting city)"...

- Bus drivers on drugs (That's the powdy, white, mad drugs. Is there any other explanation for how they drive?)

- The rumour that Sir Norman Foster had the idea for the Gherkin in the bath.

- People pretending to drive the DLR.

- This announcement "The District Line is suspended between EArl's Court and Whitechapel. The Northern Line is experiencing severe delays after a signal failure at Camden. The Waterloo & City Line is closed until 2007. Central Line trains are not stopping at Marble Arch due to a customer taking ill. And the Bakerloo Line is temporarily clsoed. All other services are running as normal."

- Ken (For getting away with it)

- Non-smokers sitting outside pubs on Tottenham Court Road. It's the A400 - one of the most polluted roads in the world.

- Guy Ritchie.

- The homeless gent on Charlotte Street who has incorporate teh Catch-22 concept into his pitch "I bet you a quid you won't buy the Big Issue"

- And the fact that you can go to a place called Catford and there really is a bloody great cat there. Ditto Elephant & Castle.

- Watching skateboarders and BMX-ers fall over on the South Bank. Or better still, crashing into one of the people pretending to be a statue.

- The 'nobody can see me if I move quickly with my head down' walk that provincial businessmen adopt when leaving Soho sex shops ith black plastic bags. They are wasting their timne, as all Londoners know the only thing that comes in black plastic bags is hardcore pornography (dedicated to Sarah).

- Names like Cockfosters. Back Passage. Ass House Lane.

- Out-of-towners moaning about the congestion charge, It's supposed to discourage you.

- Tottenham Hotspur: Ofcourse tradition demanded that they lose out on fourth place htis year to Arsenal, but who could have expected them to turn the process intoa Farrelly brothers-style gross-out comedy? (lol x 100)

- Tooting (still sounds funny!)

- Big, strapping, hooded youths riding around on kiddy motorbikes.

- The macho, uniformed London transport teams who descend on bendy buses. You are ticket inspectors - you will never, ever be in the Special Forces. Although you will always be arses.

- 'When everyone stopped on Tooting High Street to cheer on a shoplifter being chased by three security guards. People were clapping and shouting encouragement, I was so proud, I nearly cried' Joe Wilkinson, comic

- This really bad joke: Avoid Highbury tonight becuase there's been a fire. People think it was Arsene.

- The man whose phone went off in the reading rooms in teh British Library, Yes, it was Crazy Frog.

- Terrible cocktail bartenders in mid-level London bars. Particularly if they call their trade "mixology" (x 100)

- South London girls vomiting on bouncers' feet.

- The man with diabolo sticks in Soho Square: clearly jobless, committed to his art, there whatever the weather, all year round.

- All young, white males in Battersea. We're sorry, but you are white.

- Pigeons having sex in Soho Square.

- The hairdresser in Bethnal Green called "It'll Grow Back".

- The glorious, glorious memory of London's reaction to David Blaine and his see-through box.

- This announcement from a driver on the Central Line: "Why don't you stand in the way of the closing doors? I've got all day"

- The tapir (a strange hybrid of anteater and cow) in London Zoo that urinated over an American lady. It went in her mouth too.

- 'Little girls in Peckham saying in esasperation "Oh My Days!" They haven't had any days yet - they're about seven' Stuary Goldsmith, comic

- Celebrity offspring of dubious talent - Stella McCartney

- Celebrity offspring of no talent - Jade Jagger

- PR stunts in Soho Square going horribly wrong as out-of-work actors dressed as traffic wardens/weightlifters/ballerinas end up in genuine fights with tramps. Or pigeons having sex.

- Shop assistants in trendy boutiques. Sulky, eye-rolling bastions of bad manners trussed up like neo-Nazi fashion turkeys.

- Camden Town with its Faux punks sitting on the canal bridge looking a bit cross because there are still three hours to go till they get the train back to Suffolk.

- The Wibbley Wobbley comedy boat (mainly because it's nice to say)

- This station announcement "Mind the gap, this station is Oval"

- John Lewis "It still thinks there's a war on. Not just any war, but World War II. You can buy mothproofer and swimming goggles and wool. In one purcahse, in one shop" Natalie Haynes, comic

- Cyclists being arrested: a rare treat, but worth waiting for.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Today I...

... started my new job!

... became a guppy in a sea of commuters!

... have gotten used to my new place (which I love)!

... am fasting!

... will probably steal internet off the unsecured wireless connection I picked up at home!

... will break my fast with my little cousin!

... got in touch with another blogger!

... discovered the term "blogger" confuses me!

... miss my family!

... miss my friends and family!

... will pay bills!

... handed in my payslip with work! yay!

... saw an old college friend in the office!

... need to eat!

Yeah... that pretty much sums it all up... Peace xx

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Goodbye Smallest Street in Fitzrovia...

I walked home to my little flat for the last time tonight... The familiar route down busy streets passed too quickly as I looked around my soon-to-be old neighbourhood for the last time... Tomorrow night I'll sleep in a different bed between different walls and to different sounds I won't know...

A year ago I came to the city without a clue of where I was going to live... The flat hunt took one tedious day and one last viewing to make me fall in love with a tiny little flat I'd call home for the next 14 months... I remember moving in my things up those horrid stairs and exploring the neighbourhood with such wide eyes that everything was beautiful until it was drenched in polluted rain... How fast I learnt all the shortcuts, where to get the best fruits (that stall outside goodge street station) and where I can get a cheap cup of coffee & fresh croissant in the mornings I was running late to college (Fitzrovia Cafe on Tottenham Street)... I learnt quickly that Oxford Street is bearable on a weekday morning but to be avoided at all costs on a weekend at any time... That old plumbing needs patience & once you get the technique right your tempremental shower will be nice to you for as long as you need it to be... I also learnt that mice only come when you speak about them & old fashioned traps don't work - those buggars are smarter than you think...

A dear friend wrote something very sweet for me over here, and I think it's a good description of what went on this past year... along with dinner parties, long talks, sleepless sleepovers and lot's and lot's of love... Thank you lulu, I know this place was just as much mine as it was yours - I think we did good here, I think we did a lot of good... :) Perfectly situated in the middle of the city, this place was a haven for a lot of passer-bys, I hope it made them just as much at home as it did for me... I know the tea & blankets helped :) I'll be sad to move so far away but it's time for a change...

It's hard to say goodbye to a home, especially when it gave you the warmth you needed to come back after a long, cold day... I just hope my new place will be just as welcoming as this place was...

Thank you for the memories - it's time to move on...

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Beep Beep Beep

Reason why I haven't written - I'm moving... moving house that is, from my gorgeous little bedroom in Fitzrovia all the way to the Isle of Dogs (Dags? Dags you say?)... I'm going to greener pastures (of fake buildings) and bluer seas (truth: my new place overlooks the water & it's stunning).

I'm sitting in my flat right now that's near empty - there are the odd few things that are lying around (trusty A-Z, half eaten box of chocolate dates I'm resisting) and I'm waiting to see whether it'll all pick itself up and get on the tube to canary wharf... come oooooooooon, you can do it...

Another truth is I'm exhausted... I'm knackered beyond control and tired, tired, tired... I've still got bits and bobs to sort out, so as soon as I set up an internet connection at the new place I'll start updating again...

*sigh* So much to do in such little time...

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Sweat Free Review: Madonna's Tracksuit Line for H&M

She's done it again - Today, we're giving it up for Madonna, Queen of Pop. The world's best selling female artist has now gone out and done something completely random to market her ever growing empire of music slash dance slash children's books slash kabalah slash red string around wrists slash political fundraisers (apparently Madge was quoted saying "The future I wish for my children is at risk" in the 2004 US presidential elections - Wesley Clark 2008 it is then...) - Madonna is now marketing her every so lovely Madonna brand of tracksuits at the Swedish fashion label H&M.

Now, we all know she isn't the first to do it... Madonna is following the string of famous designers who have contributed a cheaper version of their own label as a line for our beloved Hennes... Karl Lagerfield and Stella McCartney have been favourites, and a rumoured Viktor & Rolf will be coming up sometime this November with their own line... True, Madonna isn't even a designer, but H&M's previous contributors have left lasting memories in our wardrobes and not in our wallets and have been one big hit after the other. The point was to get tip top designers to create a line of crazy sexy cool and so fashionaaayble line of affordable clothes for the high street shopper - who wouldn't want a karl lagerfield design for less than £100 in their closet? Big Big Success, in every way...

So here we go: Madonna for sweatpants? People weren't as much skeptical as they were curious... True, Madge is a Yogini after all (that's a female master of yoga, fyi) and she's got the body of an 18 year old gymnast, but what would these sweatpants look like? Would there be cones involved? Perhaps a cross that went on fire? Controversial? Sexy? Damn right indecent? Well, be prepared for none of the above as no one even bothered flocking to Oxford Circus to see the launch of our resident's new creation. Shoppers around the world waited for some excitement from Madonna and were left disappointed: Instead of the cool kistch sexy designs we expected, we were left with dry mouths at the bland and unimaginative trackies with the silly label "Madonna heart H&M". Trackies is what they are - Madge's concert ticket prices caused more of a stir around the country than her line of clothes, and the teenbop/yummy mummy consumer world is left disappointed.

Starting with the display, it was your average humdrum clothes rack at a highstreet store, nothing extravagant, nothing great. The trackpants are going for £14.99 while the sweaters are going for £19.99. Not expensive at all for nylon-mix trackpants at H&M that are made in Turkey. The design is simple, zip up sweater, scrunched at the middle and regular fit trousers that did not feel anymore special on your bum than your average H&M track-bottoms. Nothing special - the outfit comes in Clorox white, black and that dark shade of purple that seems to be in every shop window this season.

And that really is about it: There's nothing more to it. There was no stampede as witnessed before at H&M Designer launches or rush to grab the last size 10 trousers; there was more of a silent shift around the display to get to the 2 for 3 wifebeaters and headbands we all so desperately need. Madonna's design lacks creativity and imagination - There could have at least been a print or a little label that broke the boilerplate copy she's produced. Her creation in no way competes with other now-made-fabulous tracksuits that have taken over the fashion industry, such as Madonna's favourite pair of Juicy Couture's. She could have done so much but instead decided to promote a bland pair of trackies that doesn't say much, if anything at all, about her new disco diva style. H&M can do no wrong in our eyes and here all the fingers point at Queen of Pop Madge Ritchie - poor, poor work.

Madonna's tracksuits have been available since the end of August and the way we see it, will be around until the sales in an H&M near you. Viktor & Rolf for H&M is predicted to come out Mid-November.

"Why is there a Dutch flag outside their window?"

... and other funny things my sister has said while visiting... I miss that girl already!

Monday, August 28, 2006

All the Leaves are Brown...

It's pouring outside and there's a chill in the air... No one needs to say it, but you know it's a fact: Summer is over here in the capital... Summer Sales a distant memory of the past and winter coats have replaced bathing suits and sarongs in shop windows... Not just Back To School ads on television break our hearts, as there are a number of signs that the sun's going to be leaving us for a long,long time... I've compiled my list below, got any additions?

Signs It's The End of Summer in London:

1. Big Brother Seven - After 93 days of watching a group of people live their lives in the BB7 House and forgetting to live ours, Tourette's Sufferer Pete Unsurprisingly Wins the Hearts of Millions (and the £1000,000 cash prize), does his one only interview with Hello/OK! magazine (I forget the second I pick it up) and our summer celebrities fall into a black hole of obscurity never to come back to the lime light again... No more watching a group of wannabe tv presenters lounge around a pool in thier skimpiest bathing suits all day long - well, not until next summer that is, when the brilliant folks at Channel4 find another group of hopeful chavs to keep our long summer days entertained with meaningless tasks... Say your goodbye to your summer tv stars, becuase who knows when you'll ever see them again... *serving you at a Tesco's next November* "Nikki? NIKKI? Is that you? OHMYGOSH you look so faaabulous! What happened? No modeling contract eh? No E4 presenter job? Ouch... Hey, I'm sorry love, you were fantastic... those tantrums? So real! Your hair & makeup so professionally done at every hour of the day! My God you were fantastic... Err... could you not bag those eggs with my sausages, mate? Cheers..."

2. No More Arabs - I can't say no tourists, because London's a city that's always buzzing with holiday groups in their bum-bags and brick Reebok cross trainers, no matter what time of year. However, June always welcomes that influx of Arabic families that lazily waddle down the streets and bang into everyone with their dozen or so shopping bags in hand. It's almost like it happens overnight - one day you hear the weather's going to clear up, the next you're pushing your way through loud, obnoxious (and usually obese - I don't know why) crowds of arabic families who are either a) eating shawarma or b) trying to hail a cab to Edgware Road from Marble Arch corner. I won't miss you when you're gone.

3. No more '99s on Oxford Street - I will miss the glowering vendors on every corner & the grownups who run to them before you cay say "Diabetes"... Ah that soft ice cream with the perfect flake and the funny stories of how its name came about... No, it was never 99p but we can still scowl at inflation on England's biggest shopping street... However, the disapperance of everyone's favourite ice cream cone is excused: it also takes with it the fake south american musicians/dancers who sell you their homemade CDs for a tenner. These people must camp out in some crack in the pavement (all 8 of them) until they spot a good amount of tourists loitering around... and BAM! Before you know it, they've popped out with their keyboards and maracas. I swear I hear them speak Tagala to eachother in their cheap fabric-micro fiber faux suede ponchos... LIARS! BE GONE!

4. The End of the Flip Flop - NO MORE FEET. Summer marks the beginning of bare feet - Muji maxes out on this season with their awesome flip flops for under a fiver and cityfolk go crazy. Now, as someone with not-so-pretty-slave-girl feet, I try not to exhibit my monstrosity often, but summer is an exception. This is a strange phenomenon as walking around in flipflops in London is really an act of bravery - do it, spend a sunny day out in the city in yer flippers & then take a look at your feet at the end of the day. Gross - it's as if you've been walking on soot all day long, you'll be scrubbing your feet clean for hours. Still, it's a drawback people are ready to take on to exhibit their feet. The weather's clouded over and I'm pleased to see people wearing closed two shoes again - no more big foot spottings down TCR.

5. Notting Hill Carnival / Bank Holiday Monday - This really is the last weekend of the summer... If people haven't already migrated to sunnier spots like Cornwall or Margate, they'll desperately head over to Notting Hill where they'll take part in the last crazy festival of the summer, and get mugged in the process... Fun, colourful and full of drunks, perfect way to end your summer...

How do you know your summer's over?

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Subservient Chicken

I never thought I'd be endorsing in anything to do with Burger King but this is just too funny.... boring Sunday? Get the Subservient Chicken to do whatever you tell him... !
If this doesn't put you off a processed chicken burger, I don't know what else will...

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Sport's Quote of the Day

Arsene Wenger says he has no intention of saying goodbye to Jose Antonio Reyes:

“It’s like you wanting to marry Miss World and she doesn’t want you, what can I do about it? I can try to help you but if she does not want to marry you what can I do?"


Reason No. 323

I almost thought this site was a joke until I discovered they were right: CNN, The Da Vinci Code and Paris Hilton are all signs that we're in trouble...

They may have been bitter, bitter people to write out 10,000 Reasons Why Civilisation is Doomed, but it's worth looking at - some of it is so true...

Oh, and I don't like No. 307 either: Excessivly Negative People? They suck!

Friday, August 25, 2006


23 year old James Proven is a genius - he put together a video tribute to everyone's favourite breakfast food.

IHOP eat your heart out.

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